Easter Bunny Blues

When a man puts on a tie or a woman jumps into a pair of high heels....we're all engaging in the civilized art of making ourselves physically uncomfortable to prove our dominance over the natural world and to further distance ourselves from our evolutionarily-challenged ancestors.

Therefore...applying the same formula of totally non-practical dress for our children on selected holidays is - more than anything else - a means by which we demonstrate just how "smart" and "sophisticated" we really are....

It was in that spirit that on this Easter Sunday of 2009, Amie and I bent the will of our children to the gods of civilized decency...

Lucy: "I am so out of here...as soon as I can....lift my head....or my arms....or my legs......DAMN YOU INFANCY!!!

Ginger: "Mommy....can I push baby Lucy off the couch? Is that cool? (Ginger accepts Mommy's vigorous shaking of the head and lunging towards the couch screaming 'NOOOO!' as tacit approval of her plan to push her little sister onto the ground)."

Lucy: "Mommy...I don't think Ginger is into this whole 'sister' thing today. I understand you really want this photo opportunity given how long it took to put these tights on me this morning...but really...at what point does my safety intersect with your ambition for cute baby pictures?"

Ginger: "What the? You little....! Oh...it's ON sister!"
Lucy: "I...wha...? It wasn't....! SOS...Mayday....Baby down....Mommy?"

Ginger: "Victory...thy name is Ginger...."

Ginger: "Ok.....pop....I'm a little confused here.....like everyday before today you tell me NOT to pick up the little gooey things on the lawn...and today I am supposed to pick them up and put them in this little bag with a bunny on it? Are you sure that was coffee grammy put in your cup this morning?....I just sayin'..."

Lucy: "Please.....take....this...hat....off....of....me! Do I look like I can pull this off?"