William James Boo Boo Jane Sanborn

The first thing Boo Boo Jane said when he arrived on this the 27th day of the year of our lord two thousand and thirteen by way the nearest portal to the harsh and unforgiving world on 58th and 10th Ave was, "Please....please....stop calling me Boo Boo Jane." And thus his mother and I looked deep into our hearts and pulled "William James" out from a tender place and the former Boo Boo Jane accepted this and was at peace.

Ginger Anne and Lucy Jane, however, have rejected the notion of changing course with their chosen naming convention and have informed Will that he will be called whatever they decide to call him for as long as they decide is fit and that, as they say, is that.

So there's that...

A quick recap on the day's events:

6:30AM - Amie awoke with contractions. Given previous experience we did not wait to collect $200 or pass go before getting the gears of labor and delivery logistics in motion. You only need to arrive at the hospital 45 minutes before your baby is delivered ONCE to become dedicated to the notion of having that not happen again.

7:30AM - After placing a call to my mom (who like Maverick in the final dogfight scene of Top Gun was waiting in a fully fueled fighter jet ready to deploy) to look after the girls, we gathered our things and readied ourselves for battle. Realizing we had never procured a formal or semi-formal "belly-shot" we stopped on the way out to snap one...

I shall call this "Rothko Bananas Boo Boo Amie...Left to Right"

8:00AM - Fought cross-town traffic. Pushed minivan to the limits of its agility. With each passing (and ever-growing) contraction...I conjured more and more the spirit of Burt Reynolds (despite not having the benefit of a Pontiac Trans Am) and likely breached 60 miles an hour on 6th Ave in the 50's despite heavy traffic.

Chris and Amie on the way to hospital as portrayed by Burt Reynolds and Sally Field. 

8:10AM - Arrived at hospital and proceeded without delay to triage. For the uninitiated, triage is a room where they decide if you are really going to have a baby today or if you are bullshitting. Having sufficiently proven that the tone, tenor and vibrating clarity of Amie's terrifying screaming was, in fact, authentic and indicative of a soon-to-be-culminated journey to create a human being...the nurses green- lighted her production and set about assembling the cast and crew for the final scene. 

9:00AM - Amie is given an epidural and all is bliss and delight. Demons become happy little elves. Rain becomes sunshine. It's not a matter of IF she's going to San Francisco...she is THERE...and she has flowers in her hair. 

9:37AM - We arrive at the delivery room. Because he already thinks he is unique and different and a magical little butterfly...Will decides that he will dive into life head up instead of the much safer and more conventional head down approach. This is cause for concern but Amie's doctor has a level-60 imperial wizard certificate in not-fucking-around...and so she deftly inverts the potentially scary situation into the miracle of healthy birth with quick thinking and lightening fast moves. She is...basically...a superhero. 

9:57AM - Will arrives and looks, as all babies do at first, like Winston Churchill. He seems to have large hands and the pediatrician proclaimed that he seemed "unusually strong"...so I have, naturally, envisioned a future that involves the World Wrestling Federation in some capacity. Mother and baby are both doing remarkably well and all is right and just in the universe.

It only gets worse from here Boo Boo...enjoy it. 

And that was a wrap. We look forward to finding out who this young man is and how he will help me fight back the estrogen tide in our house full of Sanborn ladies. I like our odds.