QUOTE - We're Pregnant - UNQUOTE

I’m sorry – but I hate it when couples say “we’re pregnant” as if the clinical medical condition of “pregnancy” is shared by the man. I realize it’s a semantic issue – but it drives me nuts nonetheless.

Early on in the pregnancy, Amie and I were talking about the differences between men and women as they relate to having a kid. I told her I thought it was funny that women look forward to the actual delivery. The male perspective (I argued) is that giving birth is basically akin to getting your ass kicked. It’s a violent event that leaves you bruised and battered in a very visceral way.

It’s a crazy thing if you think about – when you find out that you are pregnant, you are basically getting advanced notice that in nine months – you will get your ass kicked. At the end of the day, it’s a beautiful, mystical miracle of nature…but it’s also just a severe beat down. No?

Anyway - this is why the whole "we're pregnant" thing gets in my tree. Your wife is "pregnant." You and your wife are “having a baby”…but she is the only one gaining 50 pounds and getting her ass kicked in nine months.

Ahh – but I have a solution – a modest proposal, if you will. The only way I can see fit to let this one go is if every guy out there who wants to claim the “we’re pregnant” line beats his own ass in a violent show of solidarity on the day of his wife’s birth. If he wants to share the glory - he can share the pain. Short of that though…I’m not sure these characters deserve to walk free with the rest of us.


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