Sex, Lies and The Admiral

We have some more news to report.....

Aside from the above scan, which seemed conclusive enough for me, the doctors also claim to have "chromosomal evidence" which proves that the Admiral is female. Needless to say - Amie and I are both very excited.

Amie was convinced the Admiral was a boy and I had a hunch from the start that she was a girl - proving two things:

1) I am, in fact, the knower of all things unknowable.

2) My life will continue it's lucky streak of being surrounded by women.

Some questions you'll no doubt want to entertain now that you have this new information:

1) Will we continue to call the child 'The Admiral' now that we know its a girl? Yes. We've been advised by our attorney, Kevin Clines, that any sort of revocation of said title could result in a messy lawsuit....what with all these equal opportunity civil rights lawyers swimming about the pre-life community these days, it's just not a liability we're looking to take on at this juncture.

2) What names are we thinking about? The name has been chosen. You will find out soon. Very soon. Like 5 months from now. Until then, any attempts to crack the code will be thwarted with impunity. Aside from our own minds, the only place the name physically exists is on a multi-format, 1024-but encrypted data file housed on a server within a military-grade security seven layer firewall. I do, however, encourage everyone to try to "get a few cocktails in me" (as many have suggested) as a way of unlocking my own primary layer of mental name protection security - especially if you are buying.

3) Do we feel any differently now that we know it's a girl? Yes - I have, of course, berated Amie and advised her to "try harder" next time to ensure that she supplies me with a suitable heir to the Sanborn empire.

4) What are other people saying about the news? Strangely enough - the most common response we get from women is excessive shreaking followed by "awwwww....Amie must be so happy." The overwhelmingly common response (like 9 out of 10) for men is to suggest a name that is an overtly inappropriate feminized version of the speaker's own name (for example, our friend Scott Growth offered "Scottina" and Amie's brother tossed "Stevina" into the ring.) There have been so many reoccurring social phenomena involved with this whole pregnancy experience that I am seriously considering documenting the results in an anthropological study.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for an update on our living/working situation...potential global shift is in the making.

Till then...


Anonymous said…
Is Mary Anne Elizabeth on the list or Kevina ?

j-sor said…
Chris and Aimee, congrats on the little oven-bun. Great blog, hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
Unknown said…
This site is quite entertaining. Congrats on the little whipper snapper. Keep up the hilarious entertainment!!

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