The Admiral

Hello friends....guess what?
















The Andy Warhol Edition....
















The “now…..now….batting….batting….for the New York……New York……Yankees…..Yankees” edition (unedited…I swear I have no idea how that kid got the hat and the baseball in there)
















Yes...that's right. I am a VERY powerful man and I have proved it once again by creating life. Amie apparently has something to do with this as well. She endures a daily battle in the fight to divide cells which has thus far been a struggle (lots of "interesting" things happen to pregnant women in the early phases with respect to bodily functions and general wellness) but one that we're both very excited about.

For those who are just learning of this new development, here are a few ground rules:

1. The Admiral - The child's name between now and the day he pops out out of the oven shall hereby be The Admiral. Why The Admiral? Well...it's a good question with an equally good answer to be presented in the following multipart format:
   
   - It is gender neutral
   - It accurately describes how the kid is thoroughly "in command" of Amie's body
   - There's no way in God's creation that we'll end up actually calling the child The Admiral. You know how it goes....people come up with some wacky name for their unborn child and the next thing you know, they become attached to it and 9 months later we're chewing off the tips of cigars and toasting the arrival of Bingo Sanborn. Not gonna happen people....not on my watch.
   
   
2. He - I refer to the child as "he" purely in the editorial sense. I have no empirical evidence to suggest we have a lad as opposed to a lass - I am just conserving energy that I'll need for parenting by going with the shorter of the two.
   
   
3. The Name Game - Do we have the names picked out? Yes. Will you know them before The Admiral arrives? That's a negative ghost rider.....the pattern is full...(see Top Gun if you are confused by that reference).
   
   
4. Sex or No Sex - Ha....I bet you thought I was headed to non-PG territory. Come on people....I'm a parent to be...those days are behind me. Will we find out the sex of the child? Yes. We will. Amie seems intent on having some kind of ambivalence about this but I know her... this is a person who insists on opening x-mas presents as soon as they are purchased (regardless of how many days are left before Santa arrives)...if the doctor knows, Amie will NEED to know.
   
   
5. Strong Island - In anticipation of the Admiral's arrival, we have moved to Long Island where we are bunking with Amie's parents for [a little while.] The idea is to save some cash so the Admiral has more than a dresser drawer to call his home. We're three weeks into our new lives as Long Islanders and so far we know this: The Long Island Railroad is, in fact, the ninth circle of Dante's hell. Our commute sucks. Period. For me, it's really the culmination of the American dream.....work hard, get married, start my own business....move in with my in-laws. Good times. Thankfully, we have extremely generous and easy-going hosts who have made our time not spent on the LIRR a real joy.
   

So that's the story. We'll be using this blog to keep you all informed on the various developments over the next - well - 20 or 30 years.

Till next time...