The Rise of Boo Boo Jane Sanborn
I am happy to announce that come October of this year...the male population of the Sanborn household will increase dramatically. Just in time for the start of the 2013-2014 NHL season, Boo Boo Jane Sanborn...our unborn son 20 weeks in the oven (and named by his sisters) will make his appearance.
As we have done in the past...I shall now attempt to answer some questions for friends and family pre-emptively:
What shall the child be named?
So you're saying Boo Boo Jane is unacceptable? Hurtful. Amie wants to call him Chris Jr. (which I oppose...since as another Chris (Lambert) once said..."There can be...only one."), all of my favorites got shot down (Gus, Hank, Crash, Mark Messier)....which is bullshit. If you have any suggestions you'd like us to consider please email them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
How is Amie feeling?
Considering there is another human being growing inside her? Not too bad!
What are you most looking forward to this time around?
The technology. Surely the "baby industrial complex" has evolved mightily over the last 3 years or so. I'm assuming there is now some intense baby monitor that lets me switch between thermal-heat-scan modes like the alien from Predator. If so...I will jailbreak it such that when the baby awakes the device will initiate an audio recording of Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling "GET TO DA CHOPPA!" (at which time I will pretend to be asleep long enough for Amie to get up and deal with it...no need for this part to evolve).
|Baby monitors have evolved to Predator-vision by now right??|
Good question. Our "slash" room (office/tv room/storage area/scooter and stroller parking lot) will become Boo Boo Jane's room. Where all of that other stuff is going remains to be seen. Amie rejected my proposal outlining how the child could live out the first 3 years of his life in a pack-n-play in the living room. Her lack of vision and out-of-the-box thinking sometimes astounds me.
How do the girls feel about all this?
On balance...they feel very good about it. Lucy is very excited to be a big sister to someone...and hopefully she'll use those powers for good and not turn into bizarro superman or anything. We're hopeful.
|Bizarro Superman...hopefully not Lucy post Boo Boo Jane's arrival.|
He's not going to college. Amie has decided that he will pursue a career in musical theater and therefore will train him, from birth, to play the lead in South Pacific. So that's happening.
Wait just a minute here...you guys already have two kids and a business to run...are you sure you have time to raise another kid? In the city?
Well...I hadn't....really...thought about...that. You should stop this line of questioning...
When are you moving to the suburbs?
No really...stop it.
Chris? Hello? Chris? Running away will solve nothing!